For centuries, men have asked themselves what traits and qualities women look for the most in a potential love partner. Are they looking for a gentleman or for a seductive type? Do they prefer the nice guy or the mysterious kind?
While it is true that every woman has her tastes and preferences, there are certain characteristics that tend to make women more interested in dating a guy and staying in a relationship with him.
Some of these may be traits that you already possess but have never thought to highlight when approaching and conversing with women.
In this article, we’ll help you find an answer to the ancient question: what do women look for in a man?
Use the Right Body Language
Men tend to be very logical and therefore they tend to focus mostly on the verbal part of the interaction. Yet it is the non-verbal part of communication (aka body language) that tends to influence the level of attraction a woman feels for a man during a conversion.
More than focusing on the topic of discussion or the exact words you are using, your priority should be generating the right feelings in her using your facial expressions, the tone of your voice, your posture, and the way you move your body.
Only a few many really focus on their body language and work to improve it, which gives them a great advantage over the rest of the competition.
Start by correcting your posture. Stand tall, keep your chin up, round out your shoulder, and keep your body relaxed. This type of posture makes you appear confident and positively projected towards the external world, as opposed to submissive and introverted.
Also, avoid insecure body language behaviors like fidgeting, keeping your hands in your pockets all the time, and keeping them too close to each other. Try to “dominate” the space you’re in. Be solid and firm. Don’t let what’s around you constantly change your position and focus.
It’s also important to project confidence in the way you walk. The trick here is to walk in a way that’s both determined and relaxed at the same time.
Another thing you should do is lowering the tone of your voice (if it’s not already low enough). Women tend to perceive a deeper and lower tone (not to be confused with volume) as more masculine and powerful.
It also helps to speak with a calm and a slow tone. Girls tend to be put off by men who talk too fast and too much and who come across as jumpy and anxious.
Finally, learn how to do eye contact effectively. You should look her in the eyes, then look away for a bit, then look at her again, then look away again, etc. There shouldn’t be a regular pattern. It’s important that you don’t stare at her all the time while still giving her the necessary level of attention.
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High Self-Esteem: Avoid Neediness and Don’t try to Impress Her.
Neediness is one of the main attraction killers. When men act like their emotions and feelings are entirely dependent on what a woman does (like replying to a text or seeing him very soon after a first date), women tend to be completely put off.
Women like confident men who have an interesting life and don’t date a woman because they’re trying to fill a hole inside of them but rather because they want to add another positive thing to their life.
It’s also important not to be clingy (not giving her enough space when she needs it) and to avoid looking for her validation all the time. You should have enough self-esteem not to need women’s (or anybody’s) approval to feel good about yourself and your life.
This doesn’t mean being overly cocky or arrogant. Men with fulfilling lives and who truly believe in themselves don’t need arrogance to display these traits. Arrogance would have the opposite effect, that is, showing that you’re trying to make up for your lack of true confidence by putting up a front.
Men also tend to ignore the difference between impressing and attracting a woman.
An attractive man is not constantly behaving in a way that tries to catch the attention of a girl and generate her amazement. Buying her flowers or gifts too soon, bringing her to an overly expensive restaurant on a first date or using cheesy and overly theatrical pick-up lines are not very good ways to attract a woman.
Developing the right body language, confidence, and other attractive traits, while you let them transpire naturally, is much more effective, even if you’re the first date will just be having a coffee at the local Starbuck’s or going for a walk at the park.
Develop your Emotional Intelligence
When men first try to improve their dating behavior and tactics, they tend to see interactions with women as some sort of linear sequence where, if they do all the steps right, they will end up getting the woman and staying in a relationship with them.
The problem with this attitude is that women are all but linear. They tend to use the emotional part of their brain much more often and are really attracted by those few men they can create a real connection with. Try to generate an emotional conversation on top of the verbal one.
Looking at her in a certain way from time to time, reading how she’s feeling in that particular moment, knowing when to take a step back after you have taken two steps forward, and learning how to invoke the type of emotions that will give her a good time and make her perceive that there is something special going on between you two are all skills you should develop if you want to up your dating game. Also, communicate your interest in what a girl is telling you. In other words, learn how to listen.
Many guys end up doing most of the talking during dates and don’t let women express themselves during the conversation, which is a very big mistake because one thing women look for in a partner is the ability to communicate her experiences and feelings freely and comfortably.
Also, if you don’t let her express herself, how can you read what’s going on in her mind and understand when it’s time to move the interaction forward?
Don’t see interactions and relationships in terms of means and ends but in terms of exchanges between two people who get close and close to each other and are both looking for fulfillment, good companionship, and new positive experiences in their lives.
Boost Your Charisma and Positive Magnetism
Charisma is a trait that can help you in many areas of your life, from work to social life to sports. It’s also a very attractive personality trait that women tend to look for in men. Charismatic men are those who can inject a flow of positive energy into the people that surround them, which in turn makes others gravitate towards them.
Imagine you’re sitting at a table with different people and you’re needily trying to catch a girl’s attention while another man is telling a very interesting story to the entire table in a very engaging and inspiring way.
It’s much more likely that she will develop an attraction towards that man than towards you, which will make it much easier for him to interact with her later. He won’t have to impress or try to catch her attention because he will have already attracted her.
Charismatic people can share their positive, inner energy with other people as well as motivate others to be the best version of themselves.
They are the opposite of negative and unoriginal people who end up boring or alienating others.
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Build an Interesting Life and Don’t Make Women the Center of Everything
Women are not really attracted by men who constantly put them on a pedestal and don’t seem to have a life of their own.
It’s important that your life is fulfilling and rewarding even when you’re not dating and that you accumulate new life experiences all the time. Being very passionate about your job or hobbies, having a diverse group of friends, and traveling makeyou more interesting and magnetic from a woman’s perspective.
Rather than feeling like she’s becoming your world, she should feel like she is being welcomed to step and enjoy your exciting and unique world that already existed before her.
Women really like men who have passions, who are ambitious, and who are really committed to achieving their life goals. Having had many life experiences gives you also more things you can bond with other people, including women.
Don’t Be an Open Book
One thing that women really love is trying and uncover the mystery behind a man. The more you put all your cards on the table from the beginning, the sooner you become boring and take all the fun out of it.
The more things you held back, the more she will be asking herself questions about you and, in turn, develop an increasing attraction for you.
Some men manage to attract women using a completely minimal behavior that consists mostly of good body language, confidence, and good emotional connection, without letting that woman know everything about his life, interests, and drives from the beginning.
You should be something that she gradually discovers while feeling more and more attracted to you.
Be Unpredictable and Make Her Invest in the Interaction
To attract a woman, it’s important that she doesn’t take you for granted too soon and avoids perceiving that she doesn’t have to put any effort to be with you.
While it’s important to communicate your interest very soon in the interaction, she should also perceive that you’re not waiting forever for her to reciprocate. Being unpredictable achieves this exact goal.
You may show her interest at the beginning, then pull back a bit and avoiding being too much around her for a bit. Text her back and forth for some time, then wait longer to reply to a message. Be very focused on what she’s saying during a date, then be a bit more distracted for the following 10 minutes.
This puts you in the perfect situation: she knows you’re interested in her, but she also knows that she must put in some work to move the interaction forward. A lot of men invest a lot in the interaction with a woman but don’t let her make any investment.
This gives the woman a lot of power and puts the man in the uncomfortable position of the sole pursuer. Instead, you should allow her to put in at least as much effort as you. Make her ask herself and guess what you’re doing during the days that you’re not texting or going out with her.
Make Her Perceive that You Have Plenty of Options
This is a tricky one when not executed right. You don’t want to come across as incredibly cocky and communicate: “Hey, look how many girls like me and want to date with me”.
Instead, you should low-key give the impression that you don’t run out of options in the dating game and that she may lose you if she plays too difficult to get or expects too much-unrewarded courtship on your part.
When women know that other women are interested in you and are out to date you, a competitive instinct activates in them. They start investing more in the relationship with you because they want you to pick her over the others and feel validated.
It also makes them perceive you as a high-value guy. What goes on in their head in that moment is: “If other girls want to go out with him and be in a relationship with him, then he must really be a great love partner”.
These thoughts aren’t always logical but, as we said earlier, women tend to use a more emotional and chaotic part of their brain when it comes to men and relationships.
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Be Emotionally Stable
An emotionally stable guy is a guy who does not get upset about a rejection (e.g., she doesn’t want to meet up tomorrow for coffee) and does not get too overly excited for a positive reply (e.g., she wants to meet up tomorrow for coffee).
In a relationship, women want to allow themselves to be the less emotionally stable part of the duo and are often put off by guys who cannot control their emotions and tend to get excessively angry or sad during negative moments, as well as excessively thrilled and exuberant during positive ones.
Be calm and in control of your emotions. Communicate to her that your inner stability is not easily shaken. Of course, this doesn’t mean accepting disrespectful or demeaning behaviors on her side, but rather dealing with them with composure and maturity.
